Saturday, April 21, 2001


i just got back from the mall and i feel wiped out. today i am really starting to feel better though. hopefully i can kick this in the next two days.

things with knight and i got a little bit of stress in them. i don't know what happened. all was going so well and then everything just flipped. i don't think i'm going to even get into it, because i think it's all resolved...but i dunno. i am not even sure what the commotion was all about. *sigh* i think the distance puts a lot of kinks into the relationship. i don't like being in disagreement with him.

i saw a lot of pregnant women at the mall. it was weird. maybe it's no more than normal and i'm just more aware? why i'd be more aware at this point in time, i dunno. although, sometimes i think my mental "biological clock" gets the best of me. i feel like i'm running out of time, which is ridiculous because women these days in their forties are having kids.... i dunno. maybe i'm crazy.

i was thinking today at the mall about the way knight is around children. i haven't met another man (of our age) who is so comfortable with kids. many will admit kids are cute, but they are afraid to even go near the little ones. knight just jumps right in. *smile* he'll be such a good daddy.

i don't know what else to write. i'm a bit bored...don't know what to do. i feel tired from mall walking. *smile* i stopped to sit and rest on a bench in the mall and looked at the people sitting around me...they were all elderly. maybe i'm getting old too.

hmmm, guess i'll go. not too much else to say. it's raining outside and grey.

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