icecream

went for a walk with the ex....last night. i need to think of a name for him...but nothing is coming to mind. it was bizarre. we both acted so nervous, it was like before we really knew each other, six years ago. i could feel the awkwardness in the air and i felt really young. like 13.

he says he really hates being separated but thinks it's beneficial for the relationship. to quote him, "this really blows." :) poor guy. it's only been a few days. i was annoyed because he kept trying to be so physical. he wanted to hold my hand, and kept trying to kiss me. i told him he was only making things worse.

he bought me icecream and we walked and talked. we kissed goodbye (!i know!) and i came home. tough night. a song just came to mind, by sarah mclachlan:

ice cream

your love is better than ice cream
better than anything else that i've tried
and your love is better than ice cream
everyone here knows how to fight

and it's a long way down
it's a long way down
it's a long way down to the place where we've started from

your love is better than chocolate
better than anything else that i've tried
and oh love is better than chocolate
everyone here knows how to cry

and it's a long way down
it's a long way down
it's a long way down to the place where we've started from
do do do....

anyway...don't know what else to say. i didn't sleep very well last night. i tossed and turned the majority of the night. then, there was a big thunder storm. i feel so zombie-ish today. disoriented. i had a dream the night before about being at school. suddenly a huge sand storm came up and i was trapped in my classroom with all the kids. they were so frightened and so was i. i could see through the windows, a tornado type thing coming through the sand and i thought we were all going to die. but it just faded away and i walked out into blue sky.

not much else to say. now i have morrissey stuck in my head.

"trudging slowly over wet sand..."

(everyday is like sunday)