Nightmares

I hate bad dreams. Especially the super vivid ones. Last night I had a terrible dream. It was the kind that you wake up from and after falling asleep, fall back into it.

In the dream I had James and Olivia and there was another little girl I was watching who was around James' age. I don't remember her name even though this dream was super long! The gist of the whole dream was that Jake had this weird interest in this girl and spent a lot of time with her and her family. Come to find out it was because she was his daughter. He had cheated on me the first year we were married and the girl was the result. He tried to be sneaky and hide it but I found out. I was so devastated and just cried and cried. My heart was broken. I couldn't believe he would do it and especially not the first year of our marriage. I felt like all the years of our marriage were a sham and a lie and wondered if all the work trips he took were really work trips or time he spent with someone else. All the times he worked late, was he with another woman? Why was he still with me?

Today I feel sad because of it which is silly because I know it is not true and just a dream but I can't shake the yucky feeling.