Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Where Would You Shop?

Not far from us they have broken ground for another Wal-Mart. My mom and I are super excited because this one will be the closest to us AND we are hoping it's a normal store. Normal? Well, let me describe the "other" Wal-Marts we can shop at: (please excuse my use of blatant stereotypes but there's no other way to describe it!)

Red Neck Wal-Mart is in a super rural area. I never shop there, but this was the first Wal-Mart I was ever introduced to. At the front of the store's property is a KFC/Taco Bell restaurant. Who puts fried chicken and Mexican food together? But that's not their fault. Who shops at this Wal-Mart? Rednecks. Seriously. There are men with mullets, overweight men (farmers) wearing over-alls, an abundance of rusted pick-up trucks with Nascar stickers in the lot and guys with Nascar t-shirts and flannels. I swear (raising my right hand) I have even seen someone changing their oil, right in the parking lot. This WAS the biggest Wal-Mart in our area and the first to have a supermarket inside. Now there are tons of Super Centers springing up everywhere.

Over in another town and not far from a mini shopping mecca, we have White Trash Wal-Mart. This store is over run with Moms screaming at their kids or completely ignoring them while they go haywire and ransack the store. People are usually standing around with their carts, blocking the aisles, gawking at the great deal on cheap perfume. Girls in tiny tank tops, frosty blue eyeshadow, stonewashed jeans, and hair bleached almost white dig excitedly through the 2 for $11 DVDs looking for "a good one". I've also seen many mullets wearing zubas. This Wal-Mart is always hopping and you usually have to park way the hell out in no mans land. Don't even go near there at Christmas time! This store used to be open 24 hours-which was it's only redeeming quality. I don't know why they stopped.

Further out we have Ghetto Wal-Mart. Named such because the store is always filthy and there are always questionable characters inside and sometimes mini scuffles go on outside. It's right on the edge of Buffalo and the city buses make a stop here. This is the only Wal-Mart with a police officer stationed at the door when you enter and exit. Once I was at the Dollar Tree right next door when I noticed in the housewares section, there were knives missing from some of the utensil sets. Needless to say, I rarely shop there and when I do, I try not to go it alone. One of it's redeeming qualities however is that many times items which do not appeal to the population who shop there are often on sale when they are not at the other locations. For example, one Christmas I was searching for the newest released X-Files DVD collection for Jake. The two previously mentioned Wal-Marts were sold out of it. At Ghetto Wal-Mart, not only did they have ample copies, but they were marked $20.00 cheaper than the other locations. Bonus! The store also always has a funky smell and usually the cashier to customer ratio is not good. This makes for some unpleasant check out experiences.

Lastly, we have the brand spankin new High Class Wal-Mart Super Center they just built last year. Here's where the yuppies of suburbia go to shop, parking their Jags and Escalades in the lot. You can see them with their tans, manicured hands, and pearls, perusing the garden section for tacky lawn ornaments. It's by far the nicest Wal-Mart with the best selection, however it's also further away. When we are in the area we make it a point to stop there whether we need anything or not-just cuz we are in the neighborhood. We usually find an abundance of stuff we "forgot" we needed and tons of crap that we really don't. And all at fabulous prices!

Ah the joys of Wal-Mart. It's hard not to love the cheapness of it. Yes, I am aware of what it does to small business, and of how terrible they treat their employees and I have read the Vlasic Pickle story-but how can I pay full price for items elsewhere that I know I can save money on at Wal-Mart?

3 comments:

Terina said...

there are actually walmarts in germany. they are exactly like the ones here, except everything is in german. living in texas, my nearest walmart is a white trash/red neck walmart. with a dash of military uniforms because its only about 2 miles from where we are on post. what i would give for a decent target that didn't take me 15 minutes driving on the freeways to get to.

Terina said...

and nice to meet you blue girl. i wasn't sure how my comment was going to be taken on the nursing thing, but i just had to get that out there.

Jessica said...

Wow, Terina really threw me for a loop. I though I was reading a comment left by my sister, Teriana, and wondered how she knew anything about the Wal-Marts in Germany. :) And when she started talking about Texas, I thought to myself, "But you live in Alaska! What's this business about Texas?"

All of the Wal-Marts around here are normal. I like to shop at K-mart because it's dead. No one ever shops there. You never have to wait in line to check out. As for Target, the nearest one is two hours away. It's not even on my radar.

I can explain the KFC/Taco Bell. They're both owned by the same parent company, along with Pizza Hut, Pepsi and others.